Mar. 21st, 2012

fanciful_muse: (Default)
I should be in bed, by now. I've been up since 5:30 this morning...but I can't stop thinking about how the majority of the human race would screw you over rather than give it a thought.

Today my ex husband Rhod said "delete your facebook profile or face legal recourse." When he initiated the divorce, I asked that he put in there that I could change back to my maiden name. Well, here we are over 5 years later and I haven't done it, yet. Any woman who has wed or otherwise had reason to change her name will tell you how much expense and downright hassle it really is.

Most of you know I'm in the midst of trying to get secure housing for Michael and I. Now is not the time to be changing my name, yet there he is, demanding that I do it. HIS name. There are over 217,000 people with the same last name, and over 1500 with the same exact name I have. Hell - there was another gal in Green Bay when I lived there that had the same exact name. Once in awhile, I'd get her mail or she'd get mine, and we'd have to forward it.

I can tell you what happened. His perky little wife, Tonya, was looking at my page and asked "Why is she using OUR last name?" Well dear, what he didn't tell you is yes, he married me first. Sorry doll, but you were #2, and I find it no coincidence at all that you look like you could be my daughter. If he told you that you were the one and only, he lied. He's good at that. Chances are excellent that isn't the only lie he's told you over the past 5 years.

He also didn't tell you that he married me on a dare. When he broached the subject of marrying me to his friends and coworkers, they all told him not to do it. Unfortunately, most of them weren't considering the damage it would do to ME if he did; no, they were thinking of his young age and "missed opportunities".

NOBODY thought of me when he went ahead and married me, leading me to think I was the happiest woman in the world. NOBODY thought of me when they later knew he was cheating on me. NOBODY thought of telling me, for my sake...nooooo. Not a one.

Then, he abandoned me, and it triggered me so badly I was a relative hermit for the next 4 years.

If it hadn't been for Keith, I wouldn't have come out of my shell, at all. Chances are good I wouldn't have budged till I started talking to Michael first on the Internet, then the phone.

Gee, the same thing happened when Amy defrauded me out of a young fortune. Everyone was "concerned" about "keeping their Warrior Oath" with that dipshit common law husband of hers. NOBODY cared about breaking THEIR oath with ME.

In other words, I've managed to pick both friends and lovers in the past who really didn't GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT MY WELFARE.

As you all know, I've been threatened with legal-this and legal-that from Olaf and the crew, so imagine how I felt when my ex "threatened legal recourse"? Well, those have become trigger words, and that's why I'm still the fuck awake when I should've been asleep hours ago. In fact, I believe I hastened my 5yo widescreen monitor's demise by the amount of anger I was radiating; I was speaking to Keith about what happened, and my monitor kept going black.

This has gotten me thinking about the sad sorry state of the human race in general - and Americans in particular.

Was Rhod paying any attention to my housing problems, some of which got posted to Facebook? HELL no. He doesn't care that much. He just cares about having to explain what must be a REALLY BIG FAT LIE to his current wife.

I bet I could "enlighten" her on a whole bunch of other things, so if Rhod has any brains at all, he'll shut his pie hole and crawl back into the booze bottle he came out of. I will change my name, WHEN I wish to, to WHATEVER I like, and I don't need a court telling me when to do it. I certainly don't need HIM telling me when to do it. If he "paid extra" to have that put into the divorce papers, then he's as dumb as a box of rocks (which I already figured out). I bet those lawyers saw him coming a mile away, and fleeced him good. I was just about to file abandonment papers on him when he so cheerfully initiated the divorce. Who was I to stop him? When I asked him if he was getting remarried, of course he lied and said no. You see, he lies when he doesn't really have to. It's a habit with him that he just can't seem to break.

I've just been doing a lot of thinking about how little most people really care about each other - even those they are married to, sired, or are relative to as an accident of birth. Things have gotten a lot worse since the collapse of the economy. Now, I will admit that hard times make people do some really bad things - but for fuck sake people, don't do it to your OWN.

I'm naturally not condemning the entire human race, but I can pretty much say that those who truly care about me are few and far between. Some of you are here. One is in the next bedroom. One is a cousin, one is a friend. One is a spiritual brother. In other words, I can pretty much count out loud just how many people truly care about me and my welfare. You see, here in America, our culture has gone all Ayn Rand - everyone out for themselves! It's like if you're not related by blood to someone, why should they give a rat's ass about you? How many people were forced out of the only homes they knew because some faceless little ant in the Anthill of Big Banks said so? Well, they're not MY relatives, so why should I care?

YOU SHOULD CARE BECAUSE 99% OF US ARE GOING DOWN TOGETHER.

Ayn Rand's philosophies work great if you're a part of the 1% but they don't work too well for those below that stratosphere of economic reality. Of course, the 1% are just waiting for the rest of us to kill each other off so they don't have to be exposed to our sweating masses if they happen to go down the street.

Um...let me enlighten you, you filthy rich, stinking selfish, asshat 1% - YOU WOULDN'T BE THERE IF IT WEREN'T FOR US 99%, YOU STUPID FUCKERS.

Some of them are finding that out now, as things stagnate or come to a full stop. Gee, well guess who used to DO those jobs? The ones you OUTSOURCED but now need? The ones you forced out because you didn't want to pay retirement benefits or medical benefits or anything that might cut into your precious bottom line.

IT WAS THE REST OF US.

It's especially bad when you see a backwoods kid who didn't even finish high school not taking the time out to see why I may not have changed my name yet before he attempted to tear me a new one for it. Just rubs it in all the more how little he truly cared about me. When I ceased being convenient, he left.

I'm not the weeping wilting person he left that Thursday so long ago. Ohhh, no. I've had MUCH WORSE visit me, and leave me all that more cynical.

Rhod, you aren't even small potatoes compared with what I've had to deal with in the last six months - nightmares I wouldn't even wish on YOU, much less anyone else. Do me a favor? Go back to your nice little life, with your nice little wife, and whatever else you have going on, and forget about me, mkay?

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Marie Wonka

December 2012

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